With the on set of a new year I have decided to pick up blogging so that I can journal the process through which I am discovering life. We are in a constant state of organized chaos and this blog will help me chronicle the road from newbie stay at home mom to Supermom! Just kidding, I have no interest in being a super mom, I do however want to be a great mom that raises solid, God-fearing, respectful, successful (definition to come) kids without losing my mind or identity. Which is hard to do, especially when you add the Corps into the mix!
My husband calls me indecisive, I prefer to call it high achieving. You see I have always aimed for the stars only to be stopped by the glass ceiling.
As a child I wanted to be an astronaut (until the rocket ride at Disneyland c. 5 yrs old), President, Teacher, Baby Doctor (I didn’t want to deal with sick babies or old women, I just wanted to be the one to deliver newborns), Veterinarian (but I’m not a fan of cats, shots or poop), Lawyer, Archeologist, Literature Professor, Curator, Intelligence analyst, Foreign Aid worker, Lawyer, Intelligence specialist, Political Science Professor, Lawyer…are you seeing a pattern? Yet at the same time I wanted to get married young and have lots of kids.
So I figured hey,why not do both! All those movies and tv shows where super mom runs a fortune 500 company and still makes it to the soccer game and with the previous generations of females telling me that I could do anything I set my mind on all combined to give me this fantasy that I could have a family and a prestigious career right out of college with ease. So you can imagine my joy when I met the man of my dreams at 22 while I was half way through grad school, yep you guessed it! We fell in love, married and I got pregnant on our honeymoon! I was still able to finish an MS. in International Relations before the birth of my second so I continued to live the fantasy that I could have it all…and then I found out how expensive day care is and how small a paycheck is when you only have degrees and no experience.
It was than that I realized that at this stage of life I would have to choose. I am proud of my choice and feel that it was a series of random everyday blessings that brought me to this turning point, and I know deep down that I was made to be a stay at home mom to four children less than five years apart. It is not easy and I often have days filled with “Epic Failures.” Through trial and error I have struggled with balance and the strong will to work outside of the home. However, I have not given up on my dreams and goals, I have simply rearranged my timetables realizing the importance of parenting with a purpose. I now try to live from random moment to random moment, enjoying the antics of the three wee ones that have taken over our lives…even if it’s after bedtime.
Instead of New Year’s resolutions I am going to make this new year one of progress and growth. I will somehow, in all of the chaos and curves that make up my life, look upon my past and not see the random nature I once thought my life was built upon but rather a well laid path filled with unexpected blessings too numerous to count.
The roller coasters await!