The Choice

Every thing we do is based on our freedom of choice. Often times when our choices go against that of the mainstream we are questioned by friends and neighbors alike or worse judged and confronted.

As a young and engaged 20 something I remember telling people that I wanted to be a stay at home mom with four kids and that when they get into school I wanted to get my PhD in order to become a professor. I never thought that was extreme or even much different than most others my age and yet I was often met with consternation. Elder women I knew told me that four kids was far too many to handle and that with the society we live in it was not fair to the children. Women and men my age were shocked that I would want to stay at home when I was in the middle of working towards a master’s degree.

Than later, after the birth of my second and again after my third, the stress of being a stay at home mom overwhelmed me and I considered going to work while my children were young. No one told me how lonely it could be to stay at home. I was well prepared for the stress the little ones bring but not the lack of respect from outsiders, the belittlement that occurs when meeting someone new or the mental boredom that occurs when you spend all day talking about poop and pee.

For a while I tried to start a career only to have every door available shut. I choose now to be a stay at home mom, I choose not to have a career at this stage in my life and I realize that I was quitting before I had even gotten started. So here I am accepting my choice and trying to find a way to intellectually stimulate myself and raise healthy, happy kids. I’m not going to lie, it’s hard to be a stay at home mom, especially as a military wife when I feel as though I’m doing it alone so much of the time. However, knowing that I’m being supported by an amazing husband who believes in the importance of a strong family foundation gives me strength to get through the harder days. Amazing friends who take me to Joann’s and Starbucks help too. Oh yea, and playgrounds with fences where I can let the kids just play while I try to read gets me through. And chocolate chip pancakes make for fun mornings with happiness spread all around! So if the saying is “Go big or go home” why not make home the place everyone wants to be?

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